It was then dawned on me that I truly miss the 2 hours drive back to granny’s house, the whole reunion session, my cousins and most of all, my maternal grandparents.

The look on my grandma’s face when our car pulled a stop in front of the kampung house. The same old questions that my grandma asked when we arrived, “Jiak pa liao bui? Ai lim Milo boh?” (Eaten d? Want to drink Milo?) The thin pancakes that my grandpa did for us. How my grandma allowed us to make our own java mee when we were hungry. The little reunion dinner that we had on the 2nd night of Chinese New Year. How noisy the whole house was with the sounds of mahjong tiles knocking against each other, combined with all the yelling and screaming we made as we ran around with cousins. Come night time, my grandpa bolot the whole TV to himself because he wanted to watch his drama series and we were forced to watch that with him. How 5 families bunked in that small single storey terrace house. How dreaded I was to go to the toilet at night because it was so dark behind (thus holding my pee until the next morning).

I remembered asking my grandma, “ah mah, why you always listen to radio?“

She replied, because radio plays old Chinese New Year songs. Listening to them makes me happy.

This is why I love listening to Chinese New Year songs too, especially the older version.

Sometimes, I would hear her hum or even sing too. But when she realised that I was nearby, she stopped and asked if I feel hungry or do I need anything.

I can never forget the sight of my grandpa cycling back home at night with my grandma sitting behind him, holding his waist. This sight will I hold dearly in my heart.

Now with both of them gone, all these become memories. Relatives no longer coming back for Chinese New Year as they only come back during Ching Ming. The celebration feels somewhat quieter.

Paternal side reunion isn’t special and rather short. It doesn’t hold that special feel like how I felt on my maternal side reunion. We used to go back for reunion eve dinner, but due to certain reason, we no longer do so. Thus, the reunion eve dinner is now a reunion lunch on the 1st day of Chinese New Year.

How I wish my maternal grandma is still here, in this earth. How I wish my maternal grandpa is still here, so that my grandma would have stay strong and live till now. How I wish I can sense her loneliness of losing her husband and cheer her up more, so that she wouldn’t just give up like that. How I wish I’m a little girl again. How I wish things that had happened, never actually happen and could live forever in that moment in the past.

How I wish I too would never have to endure the feeling of loneliness.

Happy New Year.

So all of us were summoned to granny’s on 8th day of CNY.

That day was the eve of Hokkien New Year (Thni Kong Seh) celebration. Due to maternal granny’s first year of passing, we didn’t give prayer and offerings at home.

When we reached, we realised that my aunts were busy making ang ku kueh. I never seen the process before, quickly took out my camera and shoot! Keke.

I can’t recall what flour they used, probably some glutinous rice floor (I maybe wrong, never bother to check about it.. LOL), add red colouring, and water, little bit of oil, mixed them together. As for the filling, aunt used sweet potatoes; boiled, peeled and smashed. The skin (red dough) is flattened first, before wrapping the filling. Then it is placed into the wooden mould like the picture above.

Give it a little knock to get the shaped dough out and the end result would look like this.

My aunts made the process looked so easy; which I can’t say if it is as I didn’t participate. Would love to get my hand dirty on doing this, but I think I rather stand aside and watch – avoid screwing things up. Haha.

Next, the shaped dough is steamed for about 10 minutes? You see, when I didn’t involve in making the kueh, I don’t know the exact detail. Haha!

Yet somehow the shape looks not so attractive to me after being steamed. They look so puffed up, and the shape isn’t distinctive anymore. I prefer the uncooked kueh. Haha!

After the angkukueh were all steamed, it was time for lousang.

There is nothing much to shout about the yeesang. Typical method of lousang-ing, lou it as high as possible until it was all over the table. Haha.

and Happy Valentine’s Day, B

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