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Year 2009 is going to bide us goodbye in less than 4 hours time and let Year 2010 takes the throne.

This year has been bitter sweet year for me. Tough, tiring – but hey, I’ve made it through. I mean I’ll make it if nothing major will happen to me tonight.*smacks mouth*

I’m feeling abit nostalgic today. Went through some posts and comments in my blog. Some made me smile, some made me frown, some flared me up. Oh well, not easy to please everyone I supposed. Praises make me go further, critics make me stronger. So those who plans to make me down, make me climb higher instead. So, thank you for your harsh critics.

Self-discovery.

2009 is also the year where I grown maturely by leaps. I was taught to think in another perspective and optimistically. I was taught to decipher sentences in positive way. I was taught to convey my message clearly and sharply. I was taught to fight back in wiser words. I was taught to observe and listen more but speak little. I was taught that being lonely and alone is fine, as long as mind is occupied. I was taught to put family first before anyone else. I was taught to value and appreciate one’s presence and company as Death is ‘common’ now.

I was taught so many things that make me feel like I’m a better person now.

Working life.

Working life has been wonderful and torturous as well. I learned, I cried, I laughed. I am given great responsibility that’s beyond my capability. I am under pressure, increasing push – with hope of pushing me out of my comfort zone, mentally forcing me to rationale judgments in limited time. 9 months ago, I wondered if I could survive working in a cooking pressure, doing something that I never did before. 9 months later, I surprised myself by holding on this long. Reason : there are people coming in and resign in within 1-2 months of working. Some longer about half a year later.

Of course, I’m sadden by the fact that one by one, the friends I found at workplace leaving me. At the same time, I’m happy for them as they’re pursuing better career outside.

Granny.

I lost my maternal granny this year. She gradually felt sick since the death of her husband 5 years ago. I could feel sadness and loneliness in her eyes and would make her happy whenever I can. She was lonely as her grandchild all grown up; the youngest only played with her when she visited. Other than that, she sat at her chair, watching TV or staring into horizon. With nobody to talk to.

Soon, her eyesight got bad and she could no longer see us clearly. That was when her condition got worst. I supposed she felt frustrated for not able to see properly. In addition with nobody to communicate, I believed she drowned herself in loneliness and sadness.

From being able to walk freely, to being assisted by cane, to being carried around, to bedridden in span of 5 years. That’s how grief worked its way I supposed. Seeing her turning from a chirpy person to person who waited for her time to come, worried me as I’m very much similar to her. I know if I’m in her position, I would definitely end up being that too. So I vowed to be friend with ‘lonely’ in order to cope loneliness well.

Money management.

I found myself to be stringy than ever. I remember 10 years ago, I used to spend money on cute stationery, beautiful hairpins, earrings. 5 years ago I splurged on nice food and clothes.And shoes! Ah, I would buy shoes till my mum would harp on me – you got 3 pairs d! Why buy more? if she saw me with new pair of flipflop.

Now? I thought twice on the dress I love. I thought twice on the shoes I wanted to get. I thought twice on everything that comes out of my purse.

Probably because I want a fat piggy bank instead a slim one. Haha. Yet somehow it wouldn’t grow much. Hmm.

Travelling.

I always love travelling (who wouldn’t?). I’m thankful that I was able to travel domestically since I was baby. Though I can’t recall them. I know some of my friends never out of town before – so I was constantly reminded I was the luckier ones. I got even luckier when my parents decided to bring us overseas for holiday. So thanks mum and dad for showing the world to us.

This year for the first time, I went for a backpack trip to Cambodia with friends. First time doing all alone without having a tour guide following us all the way from Penang to Cambodia. Though we did seek for travel guide in Siem Reap, but this feeling is totally different from the normal tours I’ve been. It was way exciting, we have more freedom and we got closer to the local.

Everyone had the hype even after coming back from Cambodia which led to the 2nd backpack trip in early 2010 and 3rd in mid 2010.

There might be a Cinaland trip in between. Hmm.

True enough, 2010 is gonna be a hectic year for me.

Lastly, Myself.

To be frank, I’m not pampering myself even since I started working. I remember I used to put mask once every 2 nights to make sure my face stays healthy and fresh. I remember I used to do hair mask on my hair, to ensure it remained silky and nice. I remember I used to apply lotions like nobody’s business on my skin to prevent cracks and dryness.

What happen to me now?! Like an auntie – my high school friends teased me when we gathered 2 days ago.

Sigh. I’m turning into an uglyunfashionableworkslave.

Blah.

Resolution.

Come on, how could I end my post without resolute for year 2010? Though I can’t remember what was my 2009 resolution. Aha!

To keep it clean and simple – I resolute to be a better person, daughter, sister, lover, dog-carer, employee, colleague, friend, ipod-owner, listener, talker, companion, traveler-buddy,than year 2009.

Happy New Year 2010!